Just kidding…
I feel like writing but I do not know about what so I will just type and see what happens.
A lot has been happening lately, a lot of good and a lot of bad. Ever since people found I have been moving, they have wanted to hang out with me. Where were they for the past 10 years I have lived here? I mean, why did they all wait until I decided I was going to move to finally accept me? Not that it changes anything, I am just confused by it.
Work has been back and forth. I have become somewhat of a slacker. I get my work done really really fast….then go in the garage and text, LOL. I have that “You can’t fire me cause I quit” attitude about the place now and I just don’t care. It is kinda nice. My boss actually came up to me and said, “You look like you have a case of the Fuck Its.” and I told her I did. She just laughed it off and said, “Me too.” then walked away. There are about 3 people in the office who have regular cases of the Fuck Its: Me, My Boss, and One of the Clerical Coordinators. We all just sorta eat candy and text all day. We get our work done, but it is not exactly our top priority.
These past four days have been an emotional roller coaster. I won’t bore anyone with the details. I have just always had this ‘problem’ I dealt with my whole life. I dealt with it so much I just thought it was normal. I would get hit with the ‘problem’, it would run it course and then it would be over. The ‘problem’ would get it way every time. This time the ‘problem’ did not get it’s way. In a way I feel liberated from the ‘problem’ but I also want to still help the ‘problem.’ Not because I am caving.
You see the ‘problem’ has never been put in the situation where it didn’t get what it wanted. Now that it has been put in that situation I feel like I have a little power. If the ‘problem’ wants my help then it is going to have to do what I say, my terms. I like that. The ‘problem’ WILL NOT like that. It may not like it so much that it will turn down my offer to help, therefore cannot blame me for anything. I know nothing is my fault, but now the ‘problem’ would have to admit it as well. If the ‘problem’ accepts the terms and my help, then it would be completely eating it’s words. I really like that. Once again gives me this feeling of power over the ‘problem’. I would not be caving in, I would be putting the ‘problem’ in a very tough position and either way it is win win for me. That is just, well it puts a smile on my face. 
I would have never stood up to the ‘problem’ if I didn’t have the friends I have back me up. I have never had that and it is just a great feeling, knowing that whatever happens they will still be there. Thanks.
