I have been going around reading blogs today. Decided I would write one. Not sure what it will be about, we’ll see. I am in a weird mood lately. I had been stressing about taking my college placement test. I haven’t been in school for about, hmmm, I graduated in 2003 then took a year of online college courses, which I was to lazy to complete so I wouldn’t really count…so it’s been about 5-6 years. A long enough time to get out of the studying habit.
To be honest I never really studied. Sure if I had a history test I would memorize everything the day before, but is that really studying? When it came to school either I understood what I was learning and just knew it…or I didn’t. If I didn’t understand something, I would just memorize it, keep it in my head for as long as I needed it, then it was just gone. I never asked questions or even talked in high school.
Not sure where I was going with that. I took my COMPASS test yesterday and got the following scores out of 100:
Algebra: 94
Pre-algebra: 92
Writing: 84
Reading: 99
Damn, I want to be a writer and that was my lowest score. I tested out of over a year of classes! (W00t!) I will be able to start at the intermediate level with all courses if I chose to do so and I could even skip to the advanced in some. AWESOME! Ok ok, I am kinda bragging, heh.
I do not think of myself as ’smart’ at all. I read so much stuff I do not understand. I talk to people I don’t understand. I read blogs I don’t understand. It seems like everyone else understands, just not me. So getting high scores really did surprise me. I was proud of myself, I do not think I have ever been proud of myself before. It is a weird feeling.
You know when you are young and you think, “I want to be a _____ when I grow up.” You have so many possibilities, then somehow time goes by and all those possibilities just disappear and you are working at some job just to pay the bills. It’s not what you wanted to do but it is not a bad job really. You start to talk yourself out of reaching your dreams…”Sure I am not an astronaut, but that was never realistic to begin with.” … and then you just accept what you have. You’re comfortable, you may even be happy, but every now and then you still wonder “What if…” I know first hand what it is like to live like that. The days just go by one after another, not really changing much. Weeks, months, and before you know it is years…
Now that I know I am going back to college I am back to that “I want to be a ____ when I grow up” stage. I have so many possibilities, a ton of “What ifs?”. With my test scores I can take any class I want to. What I learn now is what I will be doing for the rest of my life….I just hope I make the right choice.
What did you want to be when you grew up? …is that what you are doing now?
Hell no. I don’t even want to do now what I am “doing” now. (I am not actually doing what I am “doing” now – hence the quotes.)
In school – pilot – or lawyer. (shut up)
At the end of High School – Electronics Engineering Technologist. (Desinger of elelctronics systems)
Part-way through college – I apparently wanted to be an Electrical Assembler at GM Diesel.
Broke my wrist, and then became a software developer (they sent me to school ’cause I couldn’t work there any longer).
Now … looking at school – Electrical Engineering Technologist. (Designs power systems, controls and robotics.)
Later – meh, who knows. Circus clown, or guy who cuts grass. Which one wears more makeup?
Comment by NIAC — May 14, 2009 @ 9:43 pm
I will ponder what I wanted to be when I was young (long time ago) but for now I will tell you that I am not doing what I want to be doing. Right now I’m not even sure what job I would pick even if you said I could be anything. My job is not a bad one but it’s only ok.
I know I was never given any direction at all from my parents. They grew up in a time where collage wasn’t as important as it is now. My final 2 years of high school my parents were in the process of getting divorced. That process was interrupted by the deaths of my grandfather and my brother. I know the cumulative effect was that I was left on my own to figure out what to do with my life. I definitely didn’t give a crap about anyone or anything during those years of my life. Honestly I had quite a few days where I didn’t care if I was alive or dead.
The real interesting thing is my cousin got me a job where I work now as a summer employee just to kind of break me out of my funk. I never dreamed it would turn into my career. So I do think this job did help me and if it were not for this job I would not be where I am today.
I hope that I get a chance to do something a little more fulfilling with the working side of my life someday. I do have more fulfillment on the personal side of my life than I could have ever dreamed of and that helps me deal with the fact that I am not doing what I was meant to do with the work side of my life.
I’m sorry to take up this much space in your blog with my long response. You touched on a subject I have been wrestling with the last year or so. I have a ton more thoughts on the subject, hopefully you and I can have a chat about them all next month.
Oh and Chuck, I cut grass but I don’t wear makeup
Comment by Korben Dallas — May 15, 2009 @ 12:09 am
Your test scores? Fuck them, be a writer! I don’t care if it’s a 60, go with what you want to do. Isn’t the point of taking writing classes to get more experience at writing anyway?
Oh, and I don’t know what the fuck most of my friends are talking about most of the time. I suppose you’re still alone, since you’re probably not as oblivious as I am, but at least you’re not at the bottom. Seriously, most of what Rain, Ravncat and Eddy write scares me shitless. I just smile and nod. “Yeah, nice blog!”
Oh right, and my friend Zack. Very strongly opinionated, knows his way around computer programming. I’m more mellow, accepting things as they are shown to me, and, uh, the Terminal? Hey! That’s an application, right?
Comment by Fupas — May 15, 2009 @ 4:09 am
What did I want to be? Well, after my brother told me about black holes, I was like, “Fuck you, NASA!”
I’ve always liked writing short fiction. Now I’m looking to be a film editor. I’ll also be taking writing courses in college. Maybe do a minor in some form of writing.
Comment by Fupas — May 15, 2009 @ 4:12 am
I agree with Fupas test scores don’t mean dick usually. With most jobs they don’t care how you did in school only that you have the degree.
Comment by Korben Dallas — May 15, 2009 @ 6:42 am
I vote Circus Clown for Mike!
Now, as far as what I want to be when I grow up…I started writing a reply and it went long. So I will write it on my WP.
John is right about test scores Jenna…and we are both very proud of you!
Comment by jane — May 15, 2009 @ 10:07 am
See my 30 year old rut blog, that’ll explain everything! I wanted to be a musician, or a chef, or a third world dictator(partly joking). I like half of my job, and despise dealing-with-customers part of it. The general public makes me want to commit genocide most days. My advice is to follow your dreams, if you don’t you will regret it forever.
Comment by sethb78 — May 15, 2009 @ 10:45 am
Hmm… I guess I should write more here.
Comment by NIAC — May 15, 2009 @ 10:53 am
I have a quick question for the crowd. I feel that the majority of people are not doing what they want to do as far as work is concerned. From everyones experiences do you guys think that is true?
We hire about a dozen temporary workers each summer. They are all in collage or at the end of high school. They are very interesting to observe and see the paths that they end up choosing. I will get back with some more comments or write my own blog about some of my observations.
Comment by Korben Dallas — May 15, 2009 @ 11:43 am
I was thinking the same thing, JR.
I can’t say that I absolutely know what I want to do NOW.
I think I will list all of the things I have done – even part time or volunteer – on my WP blog.
I may just make a page out of it. LOL
Comment by NIAC — May 15, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
Congrats on the great test scores. The writing score may be lower, but it isn’t bad. Enjoy college. Ask questions when you don’t understand. Hopefully the college environment will make you feel more comfortable about asking a question when you don’t understand.
I’m one of those rare people who is actually doing what I was thinking about doing when I got out of high school.
I’ve alwas been naturally good at math and the bit of computer programming I had done by the time I graduated High school. I took Pascal and Fortran at the local community college. My Dad was a professor at the community college and my parents always encouraged me to do anything I wanted and computers are what I like.
I was lucky to get a federal summer job as a math/computer trainee at an aggricultural research station. I did a lot of data entry and some programming (Fortran).
After I got my computer science degree I got a job at an invstment firm as a programmer. There I did a lot of different things (programming/PC repair/network & phone lines/system admin/database admin). Eventually they outsourced their computer stuff and I ended up being a performance analyst and wrote RFP (Requests for Proposal) that were for multi-million dollar accounts. I did not like doing this at all. Had to work with marketing people which can be no fun.
They eventully lowered my pay since I wasn’t doing computer stuff anymore. It took me about 6 months to find a better job. I now work at a regional universiy doing database programming/analyst type stuff. I love the environment, have a great boss and I get to learn new things all the time.
Comment by JulieMac — May 18, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
Sounds cool, Julie.
Comment by Fupas — May 18, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
Oh I forgot to say so earlier, but a little bragging is healthy sometimes.
Comment by Fupas — May 18, 2009 @ 7:57 pm
That was addressed to Dagger.
Comment by Fupas — May 18, 2009 @ 7:58 pm
ugh, marketing people…..don’t get me started with them.
Comment by sethb78 — May 19, 2009 @ 8:57 am
That is awesome Julie. I am happy you got a job doing what you want to do
I hope at least find out what I want to do someday.
Comment by Korben Dallas — May 19, 2009 @ 4:29 pm
In some respects, I am doing what I wanted to be doing. Teachers for the most part have made an impact on my life, most good a few not so good but the impact was enough for me to want to be in the field of education.
Of course that is not what I wanted to be when I was in high school. I had dreams of being a world traveling photographer. I wanted to document the world and show it to people that aren’t able to see it. I would love to be able to afford something like that but it was a nice lesson on reality for me. Shit costs money and travel is not without its costs.
I will say that I do admire you for going back to college, it is one of those things that I sacrificed in order to start my family off on the right foot. My sons know who they are and where they come from, that was important to me so in that respect, I am doing exactly what I wanted, just not getting payroll for it. Maybe when George III is a little older, I might look at going back and finishing what I started but after all of these years, I don’t see how it will change much. My reality is pretty much set and I will have to hold out for a few more years before opportunities come around again.
Until then, no payroll, well minimal income as in the education board I am a member on. It is more of a appointment with little in terms of job security. It really isn’t a job. I need a fucken job, sorry but that is my reality right now. I am able to get income from it but it is not every two weeks which does suck.
I was in the last two semesters of a university transfer program when AE was born. DJ was two and a half years old and my little family and I were on our own, away from the family support that we both grew up with and had become used to. The stresses mounted and I was being pulled in all directions as I went to university and struggled to keep up because I was not getting enough sleep at home. It was a spiral downward and it was time to bring my family home.
I regret it once in a while, until I see how well my sons have done and knowing that they are a part of their culture and I see that they know who they are. Sacrifice well worth it.
Also I wanted to apologize for not commenting around here for such a long time.
Comment by E_Dragon — May 24, 2009 @ 11:35 pm